Fvcking Hollowed Feeling

Posted: August 30, 2010

     It’s the 30th of August. No classes. And don’t know why. *big grin* Until recently, I’ve had happened to pass by our TV set and people on screen were like, ” It’s National Heroes Day!” Now I know. I am very grateful that there are no classes - I’m not in the best state of emotions to be around them ,again. I’m missing him so much. The hollowed feeling crept back - I was trying to ignore it by killing myself with school stuffs , but eventually it made its way back, F-ingly successful enough to take away the last shred of happiness I’ve had. I don’t know where he is right now. He wouldn’t respond to my messages. It’s not his responsibility, though , we’re not committed to each other. But his presence has been and will always be the only thing that could make me happy.  

     If only he could see this. If only he could feel the anxiety of not knowing whether he’s alright. I’ve only got few years to spend with him. Five years? Or less than five? I really don’t know. I was planning to spend it with him. But how? If I don’t even know where he is. My life is over - I thought earlier this morning. I couldn’t function well with the assurance that he’s alright. I just can’t. I don’t know if I can focus my attention to schoolworks. I miss him so much.